Make A New Years Resolution to Improve Your Marriage

Each year many of us make New Year's resolutions. People make resolutions to quit smoking, lose weight or watch less television. All of these ideas are resolutions that will benefit the individual and hopefully improve their life in some way.

This year I would like to encourage you to make a New Year's resolution that benefits you as a couple. There are several options that you could choose to work on your relationship and make your marriage the best that it can be. You could choose to read a marriage book and apply some of the suggestions. You could choose to take a marriage education class together. You could resolve to find a better way to solve your disagreements. You could even make a resolution to jazz up your sex life in some way.

When marriage counselors are asked how to improve a marriage, the number one suggestion offered is to have a regular date night each week. Marriage counselors agree that having a time each week that you focus on each other and spend time together will help couples connect and reconnect.

However, it is not just about the time spent together. You need to find a quality ways to connect and interact. Going to a movie together may be fun, but it is hardly interactive. You must find ways to connect that are meaningful to each person.

According to Brett R. Williams, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, couples receive attention from each other through a favored modality. There are kinesthetic people who need to be touched by their partner to feel their attention. Kinesthetic lovers also like being active and doing something together, like riding bikes or taking a hike. Some people are visual lovers. They respond best to things they can see. Therefore, when choosing a restaurant, the ambiance and scenery are crucial to show your visual lover how much you care. Then there are the auditory lovers. Auditory people are sensitive to sound. They love to listen to music, but they may also enjoy a quiet date where the sounds of the environment are not distracting to them.

Most people have a favored modality, but may also enjoy other kinds of dates. If you and your partner differ in your favored modality (welcome to the club), then you should strive to trade off weekly on which kind of date you pursue.

Brett R. Williams has created a Date Night Deck The Date Night Deck has 52 date night ideas. The deck is divided into three groups, Visual date, Talking date, and Physical date, because not everyone has the same needs. This deck of cards will help you understand exactly how to spend quality time. Each deck has a quick test to help you and your partner find out your favored modality for receiving attention. The deck also includes a journal so that you can record some of your activities.

Lastly, remember that novelty is good for your dating life. Don't get stuck in the same date every week! Try something new. Go out for Cuban food. Make a picnic and eat it on your back patio. Or, try one of the suggested activities provided in the Date Night Deck. Make this year the year you really improve your marriage by creating a regular date night each week!